Don't Let Me Down
by tightgriponreality
Summary: Two best friends trying to be adults apart. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! Reworking this story, so don't be confused by changes. **

**I'm definitely using this story to help me work through some of my troubles. I originally wrote this story with same title - and songs inspirations - with a different attitude.**

**I'm trying something new.**

**xx**

**(I know it's a short chapter...)**

**SM owns it all. Ideas are loosely based on erm well...**

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**ONE**

_I know I caught you at a not-so-happy time of your life_

_My dreams are bigger than your junkie pride_

**_"Pride" – Lana Del Rey_**

I loved darkness and the cool silence it brought. As a child I loved sleeping with the TV set on. I loved the flashes of light and the color. I liked trying to guess what was going on in the show with my back turned, imagining the actors and their roles. I used to love light.

My hands gripped the wheel, probably too tightly. I had some Lana Del Rey demos softly echoing from the surround sound of the truck hoping to maybe just maybe soothe me. I was happy again. I used to think I was happy, you know when new beginnings started and I dreamed of moving (and staying) away. However, I really wasn't. I was lost. Maybe not as much as before. But very lost, and tired. More lonely than anything. I did not want any phone calls or letters anymore. I still believed he was the reason I was unhappy.

It's much different now. No one person should affect your happiness. No one person should make you feel less than. He never meant to. I matured, but I still hadn't understood. Now I do. I really feel I do.

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I stood quietly in line at Molten Cafe across the street from Rose's office. Soft indie rock echoed through the speakers and young girls in tall boots with pea coats fluttered about laughing into their lattes. I reached the counter, ordered Rose's coffee and Lisa my favorite barista put together my ice water with lemon in the iced coffee cup. I trotted down the street to Rose's parked car.

"Em! Stop calling me, I'm on lunch!...yeah yeah, okay. Yeah order out. Yes. Mmmmm...yes baby. Bye, love you"

I opened the passenger door, handed her the latte and fell into my seat.

"Emmett getting lonely?"

"You know how he gets when he gets some vacation time. Cheap bastard won't just take us on a vacation - he expects me to call out sick everyday to stay with him"

"You have done that though..." I laugh.

Emmett and Rose would be my first adult friends I made, couple friends too. Crazy workaholics who are crazy about each other. Definitely my favorite.

"I don't think he understands when you work in the auto industry you do not..." Rose's rant began. The same one she did when she felt Emmett treated her like his trophy and caretaker. She liked that though.

We drove around until she had to head back. She mostly talked about how much she missed me, and how much she can't wait to get the group back together. And how corporate makes her want to cry. I listened, so happy to be back in the passenger seat of her car - like old times.

She dropped me off at my truck. And as usual gave me two hugs, kissed my cheek five and waved crazily as I made my way to my door.

I sighed.

I started my car and waited for it to warm up a bit, searched for some music when I looked I was receiving a call.

I automatically ended it. I never did this. I usually answered it, made small talk and went on. I was happy in my adult bubble.

The voice mail alert popped up.

A few texts too.

I put the car in drive.

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review x


	2. Chapter 2

**...I suck. So many apologies for my constant revisions - and my favorite hobby of writing without my glasses on...**

**I apologize for spelling errors/grammar usage. No one is reading this over for me... doesn't it look it?**

**Feel free to contact me about any eye sores you see.**

**SM owns a simple Edward and Bella. I have Eddie and Isabella.**

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**TWO**

_And then one night as I lay down_  
_Somewhere far from you_  
_I dreamt that I heard you call my name_  
_But my mind was playing games_

**_"What Did I Ever Come Here For?" - Brandi Carlile_**

I waved hello to my secretary as I approached her desk. I was grateful to lean against her desk and complain due to these ridiculous pumps I was wearing. I was doing my old "dress nice if you don't feel nice". That wasn't working. We made small talk about her family and fiancé already making plans for the Fourth. It was one o'clock soon enough, lunch break over. I told her to dismiss any messages for the rest of the day. I fibbed that I needed to get all the reports together for the Lewison project I had going on right now. When I have really had it done for weeks. I've been wallowing in my office with the blinds down. I couldn't wait to return. I opening the door of my office and closed it quickly. I kicked off my black pumps and found an elastic on my wrist to tie my hair into a knot. I basically fell into my loveseat that was right as you walked in.

"What am I doing?"

I fished through my purse that was thrown on the floor. I pulled out my phone clicked OK and read the texts.

I got an offer and I want to talk to you it. Can we meet soon. - E

Or ignore my calls - an angry E

Dont make me go to your office - a threatening E

I know you think I'm screwing with you. I'm not. Too old for that. - love E

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**_SIX MONTHS AGO_**

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Light came in through the side window. A clean bright yellow light. Like the slow establishing the scene that occurs in these type of scenes in movies. I wasn't surrounded by sheets and pillows. Instead clothes and dirty sweatshirts. I was snuggled up in a really nice blanket though. I examined the walls. There was a Chicago Cubs pennant and a about 200 newspaper clippings tacked to the walls with push pins. Ugh. I moved away from my position on his chest and settled next to him.

"Good morning" he said sleepily squeezing me tightly.

"Sorry if I woke you up."

"Nah," he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked at me and smiled. He looked older his bronze hair now less vibrant and eyes tired. He still had that relaxed way about him. There was an uptight side that I definitely saw last night at the club.

I yawned as he got up. I tried my best to open my eyes despite them being painfully dry for sleeping with my contacts in.

"Want Frosted Flakes or something B?" he called as he padded down the hallway. I pushed away the covers quickly and followed closely behind.

His apartment was so him, barely furnished. There was however, a giant Goodfellas poster and various world maps framed in the hallway walls. It seemed very Tumblr/hipster dorm room but whatevs. In his living room he did have a giant leather armchair parked in front of a flat screen, but nothing else. No side table. No place to even stick a remote.

"Thanks for coming over, I'm too lonely after all that's been going on," he said as he reached for bowls and spoons.

"No problem Ed," I smirked, using my best high pitched voice to mock the ladies I knew he usually would bring home.

"Shut the fuck up," he said bending down to get milk from the fridge.

He brought over two bowls of cereal to where I had sat myself at his table. His small kitchen table was light wood, and really too small for this place. It added to his "nothing works" decor in this swanky penthouse location.

"Weird to be eating cereal without reading the newspaper," I mumbled with a spoonful of Kellogg's.

"You still on the old guy flow?"

"Yes. Need to read my stocks, world news, and comics."

"Good for you," he laughed raising his spoon.

"We could go back to my room and read all my articles off the walls," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Sorry about sending you all of those, ugh I guess when I was in my college bubble it gave you a celebrity aura."

"I loved it. Nice to remember my stuff wasn't just floating around online, it actually was in print."

"So are you taking a break or something?"

"You could say that. "

"I take that as a yes….."

"Isabella it's something I don't want to talk over right now over Tony the Tiger"

"Okay."

He put away our bowls and put the Abbey Road album on through his kitchen stereo. Too much hipster. He showed me how he had finally found a frame for my favorite picture of us from high school. Almost ten years later, but that's fine. The picture looked warn and had a rip in the corner. The glass now protected it. He had it right on his mantle.

"Oh god. You better move that...Do you have your mom and dad come over here? That would freak them out.."

"The loved it." he said full of spirit.

"Oh..I bet" shuddering at the image of his mom picking up the frame with a sour look.

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I started looking for a broom to sweep his shedding and dust bunnies that littered the floor. I was worried about him. His writing career was doing so well. I had heard through the Forks gossip train he even was getting calls from NY Times and some other outlets. Him being in this nice apartment all alone was never his plan.

I worked for an half an hour as he caught up on bills and mail.

"Did you know gas is this much?"

"Yes Edward..." Such an old guy.

We had known each other for so long now, literally. We had met at age 11 and now at 28 it was not a figurative feeling. I welcomed this silence between us knowing that we both had big mouths and this could be escalating. He could make a comment about why I made him bring me back to his place last night. Or I even could ask why Jessica Whorwitz and her friends all sent him Christmas cards (that he displayed on the window sill). He would ask why I never agreed to go Thanksgiving when he called that night. I definitely could scream about why he didn't tell he had been back in Washington for a year. My maturity was working so hard.

He stared at me as I figured out how I was going to pull the dust from beneath his "magic chair". I stuck my tongue out; he came running to deck me and push me under him into the chair. He was laughing and I was mesmerized. It was nice seeing him happy. He pulled the remote from where he had it hidden in the chair.

I don't know how we both fit in that chair. I was tucked under his arm and pretty much lying on top of him. We watched some Bad Girls Club, a cult favorite in his eyes. I laughed at him getting all into the various "bitch fights" and smacking. During the commercials I kissed his neck. It felt weird. The day wore on and soon enough it was 5PM.

"Maybe I should go…" I said as I stared at the digital clock from the cable box. I was so comfortable, I was uncomfortable. As my mom would say _too familiar_. I didn't want to stay too long, and maybe say the wrong thing.

"Noooooo, Isabella please one more night. I like sleepovers with my best friend..." he teased. He got up and turned off the television.

"I have errands to do tomorrow morning, I really don't want to mess up your routine," I said signaling to his usual tv addict lifestyle of sitting down and eating a carton of ice cream.

"Tomorrow night, maybe we could go out?" he suggested.

I nodded "Maybe?"

I got up and went to his room. I found my black dress tangled in his dress pants and sighed. I had pictured my future so much differently. In my mind I hoped maybe we would be together. Mature, grown up, able to be some type of life partners. It was time apart that made us behave well together. It was constant intercession that made us the mad couple.

I managed to fit all my stuff into my purse. I found a pair of his basketball shorts from freshman year in his dresser. I saw some letters tied together in a rubber band in there too. All from me, I recognized the scrawl. I refrained from snooping. I texted Rose asking her if she could pick me up at the corner of Grove in 10 minutes. She would scream if she knew I had been here.

As I walked down the hallway I said "Thanks again for everything Eddie, it was nice to…"

I hear a smash. I raced in. Glass was scattered all over the floor. He was sitting in the chair with his head down "I fucked it up. Like really? I tried so fucking hard. And now I'm in the shitty situation…"

"Edward?!"

He moved past me back towards his room screaming. As I entered he was pulling down all the tacked up articles that I had sent him over the years.

"Edward what did I do? What is going on?"

"Bella..."

"Eddie, calm down!" I grabbed his hands.

"It's been hitting me. You are right. All the stuff about me being a jerk to you. All those people. It's making sense. All those years I thought you were stuck in the past. Oh my god I was a fucked it all up."

I dropped his hands and backed away.

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**Whorwitz? Hope you picked that up.**

**Definitely expect further back story on these two. I'm trying to make this interesting! **

**Thanks for the faves/follows and reviews, I appreciate it all.**

**Happy weekend xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE**

You don't know what you've done to me.  
You're heavier than heavenly.  
Life on the run has set me free, me free now.

**_"On Our Way" - Lana Del Rey_**

**EPOV**

"Hello?"

"Ed?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, hi - um - I'm really sorry about this phone tag. I just -"

"Hey, dont worry about it. I'm really glad you called." I looked down at the plane tickets Jasper had left on his desk for me.

"Well I- I've been thinking about stuff - us - are busy tonight?"

"No" Wow, I pushed myself back this office chair running my fingers through my hair. I stood up and looked out the window of Jasper's office building. "Not at all Bella."

"Okay, can uh it's already 6 so do you wanna come see my place or something.."

I scan the city outside this grand exec office and I see a brunette's waves whipping in the Seattle wind.

"Bella, are you outside Wood and Reynolds right now?"

"...yeah, why?"

"I'm waving, I'm at my Alice's fiance's company.. the uh, Whitlock Building?"

"Oh shit! Don't look at me I've had a rough day!" she waves back through the window and walking towards the 423 Wood office.

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I'm driving her. Fuck, all my fantasies are coming alive right now. She's fiddling with my radio pushing in all the mix CDs I've attempted to compile since our span of years apart. I've never been a music person, she was always that half. Our first memories together are of her pushing ear buds in my ears. I'm trying to maintain focus on the road but this is all too surreal. I pull down a small road, Emmett said she had been living in this area.

"Here Edward, to the left."

We make our ways up the steps to the entrance of her building. She pulls some mail from a black box and turns her key. I missed this part of her life. The first adult apartment. The first 9-5 living quarters. The first month you live in a new place and your friends are always over.

She turns her key into her 2nd floor 2 bedroom pad that I don't know how my little Bella can afford and I'm weak in the knees. It's pretty clean, not too much stuff but not like the shit show of my apartment. She actually has stuff on the walls, a clock, seating, and well..taste.

"Are you hungry?" she says. I've already lost her as I here her walking around in what I'm guessing is the kitchen.

"No I'm alright."

"Okay." she pulls out 2 beers and kisses her crucifix next to her fridge.

"You okay there Bella?"

"Not really... 28 year old Edward is in my kitchen, I need Jesus"

I move closer to her. Why am I so attracted to her? I want to ask her about her day, and what her job is all about. Even ask how the past 9 years have been and how I'm sorry I got a little sloppy last time I saw her...

She's kissing me. Soft hands around my neck, slow kisses on the lips. I'm probably moaning and I don't give a damn. This is my friggin soul mate people.

"My room is over here..." taking my hand and pulling me towards dark hallway.

"Hey, Bella slow down" I kiss her lips soft this time as she pulls me against the wall.

"I feel this Edward! I've always felt it. C'mon. Give me this one night to get it all out of the way. I'm at this fucked up stage of my life..."

"Then we shouldn't have sex Bella."

"Don't be the voice of reason I know you thought this over too!"

"No I didn't because I've been told repeatedly you are quote end quote happiest you've been ever without me. So that's why I've been keeping my distance for the past decade!"

"Shut up!"

"I've dated. I've tried all these different jobs. I've been through a shit ton too Bella!"

"You know how dependent I am on you! Always!"

"And you think I don't think of you? You think I had fun after that night you went ape shit? You think I've had a great life without you?"

She walked towards her small kitchen table and sat down at one of the wooden chairs.

"I've tried really hard to grow up without you..."

"I can see that."

"I've done sooooooo much by myself."

"I know I'm very proud."

"So for you to show up at a bar with Emmett the day after New Years and look at me with these bright eyes, that's been fucking me up."

"Me too."

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**9 YEARS AGO**

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BPOV

"Lol you are driving me right now?" I said my hand waving outside his passenger side window.

"Yes very lol Bella." he was nodding and smiling.

"This is so awkward can I at least put on music?" I looked at the floor for maybe some CDs but knew better he took all my mixtapes I made and kept them in his room.

"Sure..."

"How was you're last week of PA Prep?" I said as I turned it to our local teen pop radio station.

"Lol at city girls having graduation parties at clubs that's all I'm going to say." he snapped as he said it. It was so weird how he could be so serious and guarded as age but use his alter ego as a girl at the club.

"Did you go to any?" I knew he had. I knew he was going to lie only a couple. Girls at school said they danced with him. I wasn't upset by it anymore. With age it bothered me none.

"Only Tanya's friend Raleigh's thing I was really interested in, and some guys from my Calc class had a party with tons of booze but I ended up with you that night"

"Ooooooh raging"

"Forks keep it classy?"

"Nah Jessica Stanley did something big I dint feel like going to, Alice didn't tell you?"

"Maybe, I'm not listening.."

"Oh we know." "Are you bringing me to LaPush?"

"Maybe I am..."

It was sunset. Last week of May, our last summer as not as a bonafide adults.

"How was Prom?"

"I don't wannnnnaaaa taaaaallllkkk Beeeelllllaa"

We sat in his car my bare feet on the seat as I got comfortable. He reached for my hand I offered it.

"Edward this is gonna go away right?"

"What?"

"This" I said holding up our clasped hands. I think of how foolish I was. You can keep friendships. But it was the deeper feeling I had grown back for him since our year we had spent back as inseparables.

"What the fuck Bella. You're the one who applied to the same schools as me."

"I didn't know.."  
"You're fucking annoying me so stop"

"Okay Edward..."

"You know I love you."

"I know..."

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek close to the mouth. I pulled his head closer kissing him on the mouth. We had only kissed a handful of times. The night his mom was almost at the end. The night I failed the SATs and the morning of his 18th birthday. It had definitely kept happening. We never talked about it after. Almost like a silent whisper of "it's going to be okay".

"Can I jump over the console?" I asked.

He moaned and I took that as I yes.

I straddled his hips and sat on top of him as we kissed. That was the usual schedule. Just following protocol. He pulled my hips closer, and I held him closer.

"Kiss my neck"

"Whoa whoa cowboy..."

"What?"

"I'm not doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Bella, we're not that."

"What?"

"Fuck buddies."

His phone started to ring. He accepted the call.

"Hey? Oh yeah! Sorry, yes, yes, I know, we did have a nice time..."

I took the phone out of his hands ended the call and ran out into the sand. At the edge where the water meets that sand I looked out. I had to move on. I looked down at his phone and found my measly contact, "Isabella", deleted it and threw his phone into the Pacific Ocean.

"You're a bitch!"

"Yeah Edward, I am."


End file.
